Beneath Your Anger
Have you ever felt justified in holding on to anger? Or felt that you can’t shake it? Or, maybe you’ve been unaware of anger smoldering inside but notice that you are constantly feeling irritated and dissatisfied with everything?
Hello everyone and welcome, my name is Mary Slocum. Today we’re diving into the emotion of anger and what may lie beneath it.
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And, now—about anger. There is nothing intrinsically bad about anger. Anger is a natural emotion. In simple terms, emotions are simply “feeling messengers” that alert us to something that’s happening in the moment.
Healthy anger moves us to action. When we see injustice, anger arises and moves us to act to remove the injustice. Notice how compassion underlies this anger… we see injustice and we are moved to act to relieve it. We don’t direct anger at other people, we aim it at removing the injustice--at relieving the suffering.
Sometimes anger gets stuck in us. We feel that we have no agency to act, or that cultural taboos prohibit us from acting, or we fear for our safety if we act. The outward expression of stuck anger is habitual aggression, hostility, or other destructive behaviors. At other times, stuck anger can go inward and express itself as resignation, hopelessness, and despair. In either case, the stickiness is actually our clinging to the anger—unable to act appropriately to relieve the suffering, it sticks in us.
When we can be with our anger, we discover that there is a lot going on underneath the anger. I discovered this in my own personal experience and share with you what happened and how with mindfulness I could investigate the anger and what lay beneath it allowing me to set myself free from it. My experience led me to understand that noticing, acknowledging, and being present with anger are the first steps to allowing anger to move. So now when anger arises, I turn to it and invite it to let me know what it is wanting while knowing that its wanting will unwind like the layers of a juicy onion. At first as we cut the onion, it brings tears to our eyes. Then as we slowly cook it, it releases its sweetness. So, too, with anger.
I invite you to be with your anger without judgment and with curiosity and love.
I hope you enjoy the show, and as always, I am grateful to you, my audience, and I am also grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.
Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design;
Gorgias Romero for composing the original music, audio engineering and production;
Bill Rafferty for technical web support; and
Margaret Haas for announcing the show.
Be well. Be mindful.
RESOURCES/CREDITS
His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Be Angry: As Told to Noriyuki Ueda, Hampton Roads Publishing, Charlottesville, Virginia USA, 2019
DISCLAIMER
The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.
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