The Comparing Mind Again - Its Negativity Bent
Have you ever noticed how when your mind starts comparing yourself to others, the wind leaves your sails?
Today we’re delving into the comparing mind and its usual hyper-critical focus on all the ways we don’t measure up and how mindfulness helps us to step out of the endless cycle of negative comparison.
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When we get caught up in comparing mind, comparing ourselves to others, the more we compare, the worse we feel about ourselves. We get stuck in a loop of endless negative comparison. How we elaborate the story around the negative self comparison. How we react with envy and self-loathing.
When this happens we don’t notice, “Oh that person has a good technique. I’m curious how they do that technique. What can I learn from watching it?” Rather, we make a self-judgment. “Oh, I’ll never be able to do that. I’m not good enough.” And, that starts the endless spiraling down into feelings of being not good enough and not worthy enough.
It’s when we are able to be mindful—to notice what’s happening in the moment and be present with it—that we can free ourselves from endlessly judging ourselves and then believing those judgments.
Engaging the mindfulness practices of noticing, acknowledging, and allowing from a place of equanimity help us to bring a new perspective and quit the comparing mind.
Remembering that we are not alone—that everyone experiences the comparing mind.
Finally, practicing the four faces of love—lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and their bedrock equanimity—focusing on sending kindness, care, and appreciative to ourselves—is the antidote to comparing mind. If you’d like to go deeper into these practices check out podcast episodes 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.
The brain is drawn to the negative as a strategy for keeping us safe. That’s just the way it works. And, it also responds and remembers what’s positive, good, and caring as long as we practice so that neural pathways to the feel good parts of our brains are well used. So, I invite you to explore the open-hearted practices of lovingkindness, compassion, and appreciative joy from a place of equanimity this week and let me know how it goes by contacting me here.
I hope you enjoy the show.
I am grateful you are here and I am grateful you are here and for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.
All of you who are members of the podcast via Patreon;
Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;
Bill Rafferty for technical web support;
Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and
Margaret Haas for announcing the show
DISCLAIMER
The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.
