Gratitude. Why is it so important to our well-being? It’s simple. Expressing gratitude makes us happy. Social scientists like Brené Brown, religious figures like David Stendhal Rast, and all of us through our direct experience have discovered that expressing gratitude brings us happiness. Today we explore how to make expressing gratitude part of our daily lives.

Have you ever doubted yourself? Your worthiness, ability or goodness? Doubt can either close us down into something smaller than who we are and able to do or it can open us up by arousing our curiosity and our willingness to take a chance at something new or unknown. Closed doubt is like the wagging finger—you can’t do that; who do you think you are, anyway? Open doubt feels like there is space to move around and it moves us to be curious; investigate, open to the possibilities, see new perspectives and learn new ways of being and doing. When mindful, we open to doubt and welcome it. We ask, “Am I open to exploring this?” If yes, then welcome doubt as the harbinger of possibilities. Dip your toes into the possibilities and feel how it feels. If it feels right, carry on, if it doesn’t step back and change perspective, take another tack, explore another avenue. This is beginner mind at work.

Actions matter. Karma can be described as the actions we take and the effects or the outcomes they produce. When mindful, we can choose how we are going to be with our actions—of body, speech, and mind. We can do something, say something, or even think something and it has an effect. How our actions align with our intentions and outcomes is important to how we are in the world—satisfied and happy or unsatisfied and in pain. It’s up to us.

Do you ever worry about not fitting in and then try hard to fit in only to discover that it doesn’t feel that great after all? Today on the podcast I’m talking about authenticity. About how we want to be authentic but find ourselves caught in pretense. And, about how mindfulness can guide us to our authentic selves.

This week we’re exploring how to be mindful in an angry world. How to be when others are angry; and how to be when we’re angry. How do we process someone getting in our face and saying, “You’re my enemy.” The how is with mindfulness, equanimity, deep listening, and lovingkindness.

This week, on Your Mindful Life podcast, we explore inquiry and insight. To know what our true nature is and who we truly are, our mindfulness practice turns to inquiry. Inquiry is the process by which we uncover the truth. Insight is the truth of who we really are. We all cling to stories, beliefs, judgments, and interpretations about who we are. What we cling to is not who we are. Through inquiry, we can befriend all these as they arise, listen deeply to them, and allow them to unwind and let go so that who we are shines through.

There are two kinds of happiness. The first kind is worldly happiness linked to changing conditions and the ways our senses experience pleasure. Something causes happiness.--a beautiful blue sky or the kindness of another.

The second kind is happiness without a cause. It isn’t dependent on anything. This happiness springs from our whole Self that is boundless, spacious, grounded, loving, safe and free. This happiness is the freedom to be with everything just as it is.

Accepting Things as they are can be difficult without mindfulness. When we bring mindfulness to what’s happening now, we drop our resistance and simply allow what is here to be here as it is. We realize that all the holding on and pushing away we do, is a struggle and makes us feel dissatisfied with life. And, when we do catch ourselves reacting, we can turn mindfully towards that, too. By being present with the reaction, by listening, and by being curious and asking little questions, we can help the reaction to unwind and let go.

Today we explore pain, the suffering we experience from it, and how being mindfulness alleviates the suffering. Our conditioning teaches us to push pain away, to be afraid of it, and to treat it as an enemy. We create stories and beliefs around the pain that only make the suffering worse. With mindfulness we can befriend pain. We can be with it, investigate it, and give it kindness and compassion. We can approach painful sensations little by little from the anchor of a bodily place that feels pleasant or neutral. We can express compassion to the part of us that is hurting. In these ways we heal and liberate ourselves from suffering.

Choice. We’re making choices all the time. Sometimes, we think we don’t have a choice and we simply react. When we’re mindful, we realize that while we can’t control the situation, rather than react we can choose how to respond. In other situations, we have so many choices, that if we’re not mindful, we sap our energy and time doing nothing but choosing leaving no room to be alive, creative, and happy.

Pausing to examine the attitude that we’re bringing to an action—task, chore, project, and even a social engagement or relationship—leads us to know our minds better and to feel gratitude. By bringing mindfulness to our uncomfortable attitudes, we can discover what they are about and let go. Then, we’re able to take on an attitude that serves us and leads us to gratitude.

It is a startling truth that each time we come into contact with something through sight, sound, smell, touch, taste or thought a feeling tone registers. Feeling tone has only three flavors: Pleasant, unpleasant, and neither pleasant nor unpleasant (neither/nor). Feeling tone precedes both emotion and thought. It arises in us rather than being implicit in the thing with which we have come into contact. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is feeling tone. Allowing feeling tone to be present with us without any need to do anything shows us that instead of reacting from habit, simply allowing the flow of experience liberates us from the struggle of emotion and story.

Equanimity is that quality of mind that is impartial, calm, and even. The equanimous mind sees clearly and receives without reacting to what is right here, right now. Equanimity is the foundation that lovingness, compassion, and appreciative joy share. The equanimous mind doesn’t grasp onto anything and doesn’t push anything away. Equanimity provides this wisdom: Each of us owns our actions and whether we suffer or are happy is of our doing. The well wishes of others do not change this. The quality of equanimity is not reactive and it is also not indifferent; rather it is open, balanced, impartial, and clear.

Appreciative Joy or mudita is the third face of love. It is the delight that springs from an open heart for our own or someone else’s joy and good fortune. We just feel good in our guts and hearts without having to think about or analyze anything. And yet, our conditioning obscures these feelings of joy and instead feelings of jealousy, envy, and unworthiness arise in us. Appreciation and gratitude are the antidotes to these negative mind states and release the joy that is always there in us.

In today’s podcast, we’ll investigate compassion, the second Face of Love. Compassion builds on lovingkindness, our capacity to feel friendliness and caring for ourselves and others. Compassion is not for softees. Compassion requires strength, character, and honesty. Compassion says, “Look here.” “Feel here.” “Act and let go”

Compassion says see suffering without shirking. Feel what it feels like without grabbing onto it. Feel the desire to alleviate it from a place of non-judgment. And, act skillfully to relieve it without any attachment to the outcome.

Compassion by its very nature requires an open-heartedness. Compassion says small acts are great acts. And, open hearts are great hearts.

How connected to you feel to yourself and others? Do feelings of friendliness and kindness arise in you often? Or do feelings of judgment or indifference take center stage? How do you feel after wishing someone well? Maybe someone with whom you have disagreements?

In this episode we explore Lovingkindness—the first Face of Love. Lovingkindness is simply the wishing well for ourselves and others. It anchors our connection with ourselves and others through heart-felt friendliness. It breaks through even when anger and conflict arise. It helps us to see the whole person—not just the parts or aspects that we don’t like.

Lovingkindness can be practiced anywhere—practice it walking down the street—with a smile or a hello that says, “I see you.”

In this episode we explore the heart practices of Mindfulness. These are known as the Brahma Viharas, or Four Divine Abodes, or the Four Immeasurables, I call them, simply, the four faces of love: Lovingkindness (Metta in the ancient language of Pali); Compassion (Karuna in Pali); Appreciative Joy (Mudita in Pali) and Equanimity (Ipekkha in Pali). These aspects of universal love point to our built-in and shared spiritual nature from which spring feelings of our interconnectedness. These practices light our path and lead us to acting with friendliness, kindness, and balance rather than acting from ugliness, hate, or indifference to ourselves and all others.

It might feel daunting to open your heart to those with whom you have conflict and that’s why starting with the formal practices associated with these four aspects of universal love are so powerful. Formal practice gives us a foundation that we can build on in our daily lives. In later shows we’ll explore each one of the formal practices.

Does your mind often wander? Do you suddenly notice and wonder, “Where have I been?” Have you ever struggled to separate what a thought says from whom you are? Have you ever just watched your thoughts like a curious observer?



This week, we explore mindfulness of thoughts. Getting to know how your mind works is powerful. When we pay attention to our thoughts and explore them like compassionate investigators, we get a lot of information. We see our conditioning--the patterns and habits--we have acquired over time. We see our biases, judgments, and criticisms. We see what stirs us. We see how thoughts sit in our bodies and what emotions ride alongside of them. We see how thoughts can trip us up and how they can free us.

Thoughts come and go. By observing our thoughts we get to know our minds more and more.



How does it feel inside your body when an emotion arises? How would you describe how it feels? What’s your relationship to emotions? Are there some emotions that you push away? Are there some emotions that arise habitually in reaction to your experience?

This week, we explore mindfulness and emotions. Getting to know how emotions manifest in us, and how we react or respond emotionally is a rich and useful exploration. Mindfulness allows us to recognize, allow, and investigate our emotions. When we are mindful, we can be with our emotions, even difficult emotions, without getting caught up in them or pushing them away. Mindfulness allows us to change our relationship with emotions and to change our habits.

The breath is our life force. Today we’ll explore why we use the breath as the object of our attention when we meditate. We’ll take a look at its characteristics and how they make it an excellent choice for the focus of our attention. Its quality of portability points to its practicality while its subtleness points to its exquisite fit for our purpose.